It should be noted that Day One: Garry’s Incident has been spat on by PC gaming advocates in late 2013. However, the developer has indicated that many issues that were addressed have been fixed to solidify the playing experience. While this may seem to be a promising uplift prior to playing, it would very quickly become evident that only a couple of lost soldier ants were crushed. What we still have here is a swarm of fire ants that are hungry, irate, and perhaps even rabid. Gary’s Incident has proven to be so utterly terrible that it is not even the least bit funny.

Day One Garrys Incident review - Whiskey

You’ll need whiskey to get through this…

Let us begin with the gameplay, the most important aspect of a videogame.  It is choppy, frustrating, and unfulfilling. From melee attacks to ranged attacks, the combat is horrible. The point-of-shoot system is, like the rest of the game, fifteen years behind a reasonable standard. Pull out your N64 and play Goldeneye and you will understand the comparison. Even saying that may be a little unfair to Goldeneye. Somehow shooting an enemy from point blank range is not enough to knock him off stride at all. In addition, enemy melee attacks seem to be more effective than my own. This would prompt the gamer to exercise a more stealth approach and backstab opponents by hitting the action key while positioned behind them. This seems logical, and it would be if it worked most of the time. Waiting for the game to recognize your position and prompt the action key is the same as waiting for a frozen meal in a microwave.

It is only fitting that the main protagonist opens the game by drinking whiskey with his head on this desk. I would not be surprised to learn that the AI took multiple swigs from the same bottle. Enemies have almost no sense of awareness and/or  are completely deaf. You can zing a bullet right by an enemy’s neck while just being a mere twenty feet away and they carry on with their meaningless lives as if all is well.

“Oh, there’s a dead tribe member. No problem, I’ll just carry on walking with my spear. Must be the whiskey seeing for me.”

“Hmm, why did Chief suddenly drop to the ground in pain? Meh, it’s probably nothing.”

Day One Garrys Incident review - Horrible

She’s not amused at being a part of this either.

Nicely complimenting the bogus gameplay is the level design which is fragmented, lumpy, and unreasonably immobilizing. Little things such as not being able to walk between tents or not being able to jump on a rock leave blisters on my scalp from all the head scratching. The terrain is saturated with bushes and branches perhaps trying to somehow shadow the poor layouts. While the atmosphere looks to be decent and filling, it is actually just a bunch of clutter that becomes a huge distraction visually and logistically. Even your enemies get trapped in between objects from time to time after they zigzag their way over to you. Bug, much?

The concept is not even that much to ‘awe’ over. Typical crazy head-hunting tribe that wears togas, buttflaps, uses basic spear and blunt weaponry, yet somehow has access to beyond Earth-like state of the art technology and mechanics. This suits the cliché of having a protagonist who appears to be a drunken, dirty, washed up badboy who doesn’t care about anything (insert Bruce Willis reference here).

The music and cinematics are merely the expired condiments on the rotten sausage. The tracks and sound effects are not engineered well and the video clips seem to run at two frames per second at times.

Last, let us move on the synchronized bite of all the fire ants. John McClane7.0 (aka Garry) seems to instantly fall into a grey empty space after loading the game. The pattern is this: Choppy load screen, Gary dies (repeat until game and PC crashes). I tried loading previous saved games and the same thing happened upon death. So evidently, in order to play through this game, I can no longer die. Now that’s realistic! This strikes me as a mixed blessing because it has given me a legit reason to no longer continue. I do not feel this game is entitled for me to make a valiant effort around this bug since it literally renders me unable to play.

Day One Garrys Incident review - Broken

Awesome effects on the grass. I know when I drink whiskey my lawn turns grey all of a sudden.

Yes, I will admit that I did not progress very far in the game. So one may say, “How could you judge the game well, JP?” Well, I could meet a girl at a club who is covered in tattoos, is wearing a ripped jean skirt with clear stiletto heels, chain smoking a pack of cigarettes as she says “I smoke crack everyday with my uncle Rob”. From this brief interaction, I am sure my prejudice towards this person would be considerably accurate. As such, someone of sanity could not possibly be convinced that the rest of the game has less bugs, better AI, better level design, etc…

If anyone disagrees with me, they should go home with that type of girl and then please, tell me, how immaculate her bachelor apartment is.

Day One Garry's Incident Review: Worst Game Ever?
Playing Day One Garry's Incident was more frustrating than playing golf with a broomstick. It's so bad it is not even funny, just annoying.
The Good
  • Makes you appreciate games that are actually good.
  • The scenery is not bad.
The Bad
  • Perhaps the worst game of the 2010’s thus far on any platform… including board games.
  • Everything else.
1Overall Score
Reader Rating: (15 Votes)